I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
