ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize