Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
