She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
