He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
