She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
