Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
