Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
