you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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