thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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