How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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