Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
