I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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