So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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