You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
