This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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