Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
