Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
