"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sorry my hands just texted you
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize