So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
