i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dick very happy bro
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