Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
