.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
