i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
