Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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