I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it hurts more in the daytime
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize