google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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