Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
