i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize