Screwed.edu
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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