And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
