Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
