I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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