I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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