im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize