Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize