Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
