This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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