actually, I'm a sock model
i think my tv is drunk
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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