I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
