just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
