i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
