I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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