I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
3pm strippers are depressing
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
