An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
