By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
