Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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