That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
