I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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