like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
