Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
