I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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