At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
