plz talk dirty to me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
