But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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