We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
