is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
