you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
