i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
