pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
