We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Randomize
