I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
