how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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