i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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