so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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