She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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