but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
