Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My vagina is very pro this idea
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
