remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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