i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
