There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
