ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
