Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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